Monday, January 19, 2015

This post was a winner!

"2/3rd of Indian Men prefer to watch TV than to do their own laundry."

            Doesn't that make your blood boil with anger? Are you not able to understand the statistics? Let me make it simple for you to understand and realize what it signifies. 2/3rd of Indian men- two men out of your father, brother and husband prefer to watch TV considering laundry the work of your mom, yours and your sister in law.  Now, does it make sense? One out of three random Indian women you meet are compelled to do the house laundry; treated like a dhobi. Is this fair? Is this the equality we try to attain?

            When I looked at the statistics it startled me. Men in my life are wonderful; dad helps mom with laundry and my husband helps me. Maybe I am lucky but not every other women I meet. I have been hearing out friends telling me how every work at home is considered the lady's stuff and how every program in TV becomes a guy's thing. In some houses even feeding kids becomes the mom's duty as if the dad was not responsible for the birth of the kid. Everything about the kid right from feeding to cleaning their potty is considered mom's department. If this is the case why do they want the kid to have their initials and not the moms? Okay, let us not move away from the topic of discussion- laundry.

            Let me tell you the story of Latha, a random Indian women.

            Latha got up a bit late that morning. It was a shining, warm Monday morning. They had gone on a five day long family trip and had returned really late that Sunday. She made coffee for the family and woke her husband along with her kids. Everyone was getting late to their routine stuffs; kids had to rush to school and husband was already late to work. She gave them breakfast and quickly got ready wearing a shrunk kurtha; She had no choice. She wasn't able to do the laundry the night before they had left for the trip. That day was a weekday and she had to rush from work and join them at the railway station. 

                 A voice echoed from behind the bathroom door. It was her husband shouting for a favour; He wanted a towel. She looked into the cupboard and there were none. A few were dumped into the laundry bag and the remaining were taken to the trip. She took time to look around in order to find a fresh towel. Her husband's volume increased this time and rudeness brimmed the tone. He yelled that he was already late to work. She had no choice but to pick one from the laundry bag and stuff it to the hand that peeped outside the bathroom. Her kids went to bath in their respective rooms. She picked the kids towels that were unused, luckily, in the trip and loaded the holder of each of their bathrooms. Her husband yelled again from their room asking why his shirts weren't washed and ironed. 

          She rushed back to their room to answer it. She said she was human too. She had to rush from work for the trip which was five day long. She was busy the previous weekend preparing and planning for the trip; washing and ironing the clothes to be taken and other kids items to keep them engaged. She had to pack all alone as he was out for his office cricket match the previous weekend. The husband blamed Latha for not washing his shirt and ironing it. He said he had a meeting with client that day and she was the reason he was going to take it up with less confidence. He sprayed some perfume on the cloth and got ready. She had no time to put up with the drama as the cooker was giving out whistles. She had to pack lunch for all of them. So she ran back to the kitchen. While packing lunch, the kids yelled for socks. Again she was blamed for not washing the socks by the kids. She managed to send them all to their routines and she locked the door and left to work. 

That night, after a tiring day at work, she spent all her time after cooking to wash clothes and dry them all. The next day the house was calm in the morning. Everyone had their things in place. She had placed towels in the bathrooms, socks were ready, uniforms and husband's clothes were neatly ironed. So no one had the need to call her, even to thank. They carried on with their routine.

That's the story of every 2 in 3 women in India.

            This is how women are treated in most houses. No one thank her for all that she does but when something goes wrong she is questioned. She doing the clothes is not considered a favour but considered her duty. No one volunteers to help her with it but are ready to blame her when it is not done. She is the only one who takes blame for not being able to do the favour that too on special days, with considerable reasons.
            Another thing is, even if the husband of the house helps the girl with the household people judge him. When people see a man putting the clothes, specially of his wife, to dry in the terrace, the mouths start to judge. So even the 1/3rd of the Indian men, who help their wife with household, don't want to reveal it to their friends to avoid being judged. Another big problem in many families is that the mothers of the son's don't want them to help their wife. These mothers of married sons forget how they longed for their husband to help them when they were young. They forget how unequal and unfair they felt about doing all household themselves. They start considering the household to be the daughter in laws work and don't want their son to strain as if he had no give and take with the house.

            This should change. Men women equality should start from home. It should start from the washin machine. It is not sufficient if the husband buys the washingmachine in his name or his card he must take equal responsibility with the household. A real man is the one who understands how he is a part of the woMAN in his life. Understands the difficulty they face day to day and share everything equally.

"A man who can't treat the woman in his life fairly is not worth being respected."

            I am lucky enough that the two men in my life, dad and husband, have always tried to help mom and me with everything we do for them and for ourselves. I respect them by all means. 


I love this video:

“I am writing for #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob activity at in association with Ariel.”

2 Scribbles:

  1. Good! So you want fair treatment in life. Everyone of us want the same. The laundry example is not a woman's responsibility. Even if she does not do that no one is going to do anything to her. She will not be punished. But Indian men have responsibility to provide and protect his family. If he fails he can be penalized and punished or both.

    When Indian men have the responsibility of doing hard work for 9-16 hours everday, when their work is judged for quality, when they undergo tremendous stress of competing with others, when they need to constantly save his family members from all dangers outside, why is this expectation that he will still equally contribute to household work. Well, Laundry is nothing, Washing machines have made things easier, but there are a lot of household work too.

    Personally I am not against men sharing the work, especially when they have children. But not all women take care of their household work equally. Also the electrical gadgets, electricity bills, cost of the maid everything is paid by the husband. So why is that him relaxing a big issue? I think this decision of doing laundry is better left to the families and individuals themselves. If any woman thinks doing household work is oppression, inequality, then she should not get married in first place.

    Stay single, and see how you need to do all your work yourself. Then you will realize what equality really means. The brand has created the survey for minting money by breaking your own family, and you are happily contributing to the same.

  2. Not just laundry, most of the men think that women are restricted to household chores, most of them preach but don't practise... Thankful to my husband for helping me in most of my household chores.


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